Holiness is found in the kitchen sink

Holiness isn't a feeling.

Jesus commands us to be "perfect as our heavenly Father is perfect" (Matt 5:48). Although we may never be exactly like God, Jesus sets a standard for us to strive for. We will never get to that standard overnight - for many, it will take a lifetime of cooperating with God's grace to foster a life of holiness. 

What does the holy life look like for us? When I had my reversion to Catholicism, I thought that meant converting literally everyone around me. I felt such a zeal for Christ that I wanted everybody to convert. I saw holiness as doing all the prayers, knocking them out one by one at the coffee table where I had my little shrine set up every morning at 5:30. 

At first, the "holy life" felt amazing! I felt accomplished saying all the prayers all the good Catholics pray,  reading books that all the good Catholics read, and listening to the podcasts all the good Catholics listen to. Learning about God fulfilled me more than anything else.

Soon enough, these feelings started to fade. Praying the prayers didn't give me this rush of "yay! I did something." I started to get distracted while reading, finding myself merely knocking out the pages without really comprehending what I read. I started getting anxious over what podcast episodes to listen to.  

We don't need to be martyred to be holy.

Over time, I learned that this dryness in the spiritual life is a part of the journey to holiness. I learned that the path of holiness isn't so much the outward shows - the Rosaries, knocking out the prayers, the act of reading and learning about God, the "doing" of things for the sake of doing things, but it comes from listening to God speak in silence, learning about His will for you, and then doing this will, no matter how hard it is for you at the time. 

For many of the saints and holy people of the past, His will for them looked like being martyred for proclaiming the faith. Some formed missions of charity that educated, clothed, and fed the poor. Many tended to the sick and the dying, sometimes performing miraculous healings through the grace of God. Countless missionaries traveled to the ends of the Earth to bring Christ to people who have never heard of Him. 

But for us husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, teachers, students, doctors, poor, rich, seemingly normal, everyday people, celebrities, and everyone in between, we're called to holiness just as much as the saints who died for their faith. We should be ready to die for our faith - to die for God, but for the majority of us, that's not what we are called to do. We're called to a different kind of death - the path of holiness which is found in our everyday lives. 

Death by yogurt cups, laundry, and washing dishes. 

"If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me." (Matthew 16:24) 

At that particular time, the disciples didn't know why Jesus was talking about crosses - but we know now that Jesus died on His cross for the sins of mankind, and rose from the dead so that we may join Him in eternal joy. The crosses we are commanded to carry look much different. It's not just one cross, but many crosses. Everybody's cross will look different. 

I am prone to impatience and I can have a short temper. I get frustrated so easily when things aren't to my standard, and with that - I complain a lot. These inclinations in my personality lead me to insanity when my family leaves their yogurt cups and gummy wrappers in the living room; when I see stacks of laundry left unfolded and wrinkled; and the kitchen sink stacked high with cups and dishes. 

It's overstimulating and my mind gets in such a frenzy, but this is where the path of holiness starts. These are some of the many crosses that I carry to Golgotha. I have to die to myself with each wrapper I pick up, each of my son's pajamas I fold, and each dirty cup that needs to be put away in the dishwasher. 

Be faithful to the small things.

“Whoever is faithful in a very little is faithful also in much; whoever is dishonest in a very little is dishonest also in much." (Luke 16:10) 

Are these small things? Sure. Am I overreacting when it comes to these small things? For sure, but that's the exact thing that the Lord is calling me to purify. With each bit of trash that gets thrown away, each sock that is folded, and each clean dish put in the cabinet without complaining or criticizing is one yogurt cup, one pair of boxers, and one casserole dish closer to holiness. 

But how do I not go crazy? Easier said than done right? Here's where the rubber meets the road. A lot of people, more holier than me, know how to get right into prayer, and into conversations with our Lord, but sometimes that doesn't come easy all the time. 

The Jesus Prayer - a key to Holiness

What I found particularly helpful is simply invoking the name of Jesus in the Jesus prayer. 

"Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a poor sinner." 

Something about this prayer brings to my heart a calming, steadying effect, and I suspect it's because I'm invoking the name of peace - the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

"...Son of God..." 

I acknowledge His providence over all things in addressing Him as the second person of the Trinity.

"...have mercy on me..." 

I beg of His mercy on me at the present moment, 

"...a poor sinner." 

As I address the state of my sinfulness, my poverty of soul, and my need for His divine grace.

"How many soggy bowls of half-eaten cereal do I need to wash so that I too, can become a saint?"

If I ever find myself in situations where I feel that my weakness is going to bring out the worst in me, I say this prayer over and over and trust that by focusing on our Lord in the chaos, He will bring me to peace. Not only peace - but the reminder that these everyday trials are not just frustrations, but opportunities to invite the Lord into my heart and cleanse me of my imperfections. 

I can't put a number to how many ice pop wrappers need to be thrown away in the trash for me to achieve holiness. I can't say for sure how many pairs of underwear need to be folded so that I can be at the pinnacle of holy.  How many soggy bowls of half-eaten cereal do I need to wash so that I too, can become a saint? Lord only knows. As I said, it'll probably take a lifetime to know, but that's okay! 

Each moment of frustration is an opportunity to invite the Lord into your life. Breathe in, breathe out - it'll be okay. Learn to trust Him in your everyday trials, and He'll give you the grace to take care of the rest. That's how you get onto the path of holiness.